Surgery Day is Finally Here…

So it's been a week and a day since my bilateral mastectomy surgery. I haven't been able to write or respond as quick I as usual. As per usual for me a few bumps in the road but went well overall. So here we go....

The weekend before my surgery as luck would have it I wake up with post nasal drip and a slight cough. Naturally my anxiety kicks in and as I am Freaking out I call Dr. Camal. Because I literally can't handle another delay. But her voice was so calm and reassuring that as long as I don't have a fever or get worse we are good to go. I love her! So for the rest of the weekend I slept, drank a shit ton of water/honey and lemon, and poured what felt like gallons of saline up my nose...I was as ready as I would ever be!

Feb 6- Early morning wake-up, got myself all showered and dressed. Took a few minutes with Doug, the kids, my mom and Sharon in the kitchen. As we are ready to say our goodbyes i look outside on the back deck and in the gloomy morning sky a Bright Red Cardinal lands on the deck railing. Just for a moment, long enough for us all to see him. It was a sign from my father in law. ( For those that don't know, my Father in law LOVED birds but especially cardinals. And he passed away a year ago. I knew that was him just showing up for me and comforting me and his son. Amazing how a Father always knows when their child needs them and he was showing his son the support he needed that morning. ❤️)

Doug and I arrived at the hospital at 8:15am ready to get this show on the road. We sign in and wait to be called. I go in alone for my pre-op prep (IV, change into hospital gown, consent forms etc..). In my tiny little prep room the tv played Good Morning America which was comforting hearing Robin Roberts (another breast cancer survivor btw) voice. It made the day feel a little more normal. I waited for Dr Griffith to come in to mark me up and for Dr. Camal to go over things as well.

I have already told you how much I love these doctors and the sense of calm they give me. By the time Dr. Griffith had come to see me GMA was over so it was a little after 9.

Her eyes caught mine and behind her mask her eyes were smiling.

She said " We made it! We are finally here. How are we feeling?"

I was honest, "I'm nervous but ready to get this shit out."

She says, "Don't worry I've got you. Now lets get you marked up."

Now picture an artist with their canvas and that is what this woman was and I was the canvas. She took a sharpie and drew the cut lines and as I called them "the eyeballs" around my nipples... and when she didn't like the balance she erased and fixed them until she felt they were perfect and balanced.

As she is drawing on me and perfecting her masterpiece she and I chatted. In the background you could hear the tv and Kelly & Ryan were on. She asked if I liked this show. I said not really I'm usually working at this time. And then my favorite most comforting comment came from her:

"I'm not a fan. She's too f-ing skinny!"

I said "I KNOW!"

That moment just put me in a good place. Calmed me and we laughed before she left and told me "I'll see you on the other side. You will do great!"

After Dr. Griffith left the nurse brought Doug in to wait with me. Dr. Camal and her PA Lauren both came in a few minutes later and talked with us about the procedure. And thanked me for my positive attitude during this whole process so far. Dr. Camal said she feels I really could help so many others going through this process as well. So I told her about this blog.

About 2 mins later I said goodbye to Doug and I was wheeled out to surgery...

ENTER THE OPERATING ROOM

Apparently I was taking the scenic route because I felt like I went through multiple corridors to finally get into the operating room. I moved onto the operating table and Dr. Camal, PA Lauren, and I chatted for a minute about how long the setup takes before the operation can start.

As the anesthesiologist goes to start the IV... and because I can't do anything without drama.... they notice that the IV the nurse put in during pre-op was not pushing fluids into a vein but instead into my hand. So my hand had blown up full of fluid! AND I mean HUGE! Like no visible knuckles whatsoever--- just one big Mickey Mouse glove of a hand... So he moved the IV from my hand down to my vein in my inner elbow. Once he hooked everything up and the IV started to flow..... that's all I can remember.

I then took the longest nap of my life and woke up in recovery.

A lot of the details are pretty fuzzy but I do remember Dr. Camal coming in and saying everything went beautifully and I did great. Then the shades came down again and I fell asleep.

A little while later I was wheeled into my hospital room. I'm not exactly sure the young nurse who brought me in was experienced with mastectomy patients. Don't get me wrong she was very sweet but wanted me to bring myself from the gurney to the bed- which when you can't use your arms and are on LOTS of anesthesia and painkillers is nearly impossible. To give you a visual image : picture a manatee scooting itself from one bed to another with an IV attached to one tiny arm and both legs wrapped in the blood clot preventing leg warmers. Yeah That was me. An Incredibly graceful shitshow.

After finally settling in Doug was able to come join me.