Open up the flood gates...

It was bound to happen, right? My surgery was moved up to 1/26 so things are now moving at a fast pace. No time to think much but reality is starting to set in. Kids had a rough morning today which should have been the first sign for things to come. Dr. Camals Office confirmed the date of my surgery and the hospital called to confirm all my pre-op appointments. All went well with those.

Then the other shoe dropped...Dr. Griffith, my reconstructive surgeons office called to tell me my insurance denied covering her part of the surgery. Her office is apparently out of network and they are working on getting an exception for me. Since Dr. Griffith is the only one to perform the specific procedure for reconstruction (DIEP Flap) in the area, I need my insurance to approve her. As I listened to Fran tell me what they and I would need to do, I could feel my eyes starting to well up. My head started spinning and I tried writing down whatever I could remember as she said it.

I had to call another plastic surgeon and have them write a letter referring me back to Dr. Griffith... So i called this other surgeon and as I was explaining what was going on to them, the flood gates opened and I just started crying. I said, "I'm so sorry I just have no idea what I'm asking for or what I'm doing". The woman on the phone was so nice and took my info and said she would get back to me. Fran called me back and she had also called the plastic surgeon and they would be faxing a letter to her. She told me to contact my company Health Advocate to discuss next step one getting this approval... Which I have zero clue who that would be. Went online and through my tears for the health advocate number.

Called the health advocate, Maria and cried with her as well... She said I don't have out of network coverage... which 1) I didn't know, 2) when I signed up for coverage I wasn't planning on cancer and a life saving surgery this year. She had me get on the phone with herself and Fran from Dr. Griffiths office. I was just overwhelmed with all this info at once and I think it was the straw that broke the camels back... I just couldn't stop the tears. Fran told me to take a breath and grab some water, She and Maria would work on this together. I stayed on the phone while they worked on some details and next steps. Gave the the right to work on my behalf because lord knows I can't even think straight right now. before hanging up Fran said to me to not worry about all of this. Dr. Griffith and Dr. Camal will perform my surgery, I needed to calm myself and not let my blood pressure rise. We don't want the surgery to be canceled because of that. So again I let these wonderful women take control of my future and hope for the best.

I would like to say I stopped crying after that but nope, I didn't. I feel like all the tears just kept going and I didn't even have control to stop them. And here I am crying uncontrollably in my office. The reality of my situation is all coming to a head and the flood gates have opened.

About 2 hours later I get a phone call from Fran and she tells me that insurance has finally approved me for this surgery, so I can breathe and calm the best I can before next week. She told me to focus on my fight against the cancer and let her fight the other side. I love this woman! THIS is why I needed these doctors on my team, Dr. Griffith and her staff are more worried about my mental state and health- And they are taking on the insurance fight for me. Fran told me to take care of myself and say hi to my mom.

The last thing I told Fran was, " I think this all affected me so much because I just needed this cry. It's a lot of built up emotion that I needed to release and now I can breathe." I'm trying to hold it all together and overall I've been really good about all that is happening to me. I just needed something to make me cry and feel those emotions too.