Chemo Round 2- SUCKS

I'm not going to sugar coat it but this round sucks.

All went the same on Thurs 4/6 morning. The kids were off from school (SPRING BREAK) so as a really fun way to start their break.... Let's bring Mommy to Chemo! So they and my mom dropped me off. I felt great going in and they started me off with an iron infusion since I'm still anemic. After the iron I was given the anti nausea and steroids first. I brought my own hydration ice pops to take during the "Red Devil" Cocktail session. The whole infusion lasted about 2 1/2 hours. When I was done I made my appointment for the next day and headed out.

I made sure to eat as soon as I got out of treatment. I remembered that the last time I was thankful I did since the nausea kicked in later in the day. Well Again as last round, I got super nauseous that afternoon and couldn't eat anything. Anti-Nausea meds were not helping. But I took them the best I could and tried to rest as much as possible.

I completely understand why it is referred to as the Red Devil now. Because she is a nasty bitch. The nausea continued throughout the night into the next day. I ate a piece of toast with butter in the morning before my appointment for my immunity booster shot. Still nauseous I got to my appointment and spoke with my nurse practitioner. She wasn't loving that I was as nauseous as I was so she prescribed me another steroid to take for the next 2 days. I got my shot and went home.

When I got home the nausea got worse and I started vomiting. I kept taking the anti nausea meds but I just felt like absolute shit. Talking made me want to vomit. So I couldn't talk to anyone and I didn't want to talk to anyone. This was 100x worse than the nausea I felt the last round. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I tried an Ensure Protein Shake and I couldn't keep it down. Everything hurt including my scalp which was now started to lose more hair.

Saturday came and I still felt like death. I couldn't sleep because of my nausea and insomnia. I was only sleeping in hour long intervals. I tried every medicine I was prescribed and every homeopathic anti nausea solution I have (and I have a lot) but no help. My stomach was a mess. My mental state was very fragile. My chest hurt. The expanders felt like they were tightening around my ribcage and I had pain on both sides when I tried to sleep. My breathing felt strained and all I could do was cry.

I don't want to do this anymore.

Easter was this Sunday and I still felt awful. Lack of sleep, nausea, pain and mom guilt are a terrible combination. I made sure to sleep in my bed so the Easter Bunny could come and not see Mommy in the living room. It was important for Harper that I was upstairs because he wouldn't come if he saw me! I had very little sleep but managed to get myself to come down to watch the kids hunt for eggs. Thank God for Easter Bunny Daddy who took the reins last night and made Easter Morning happen.

By Easter my scale was so tender and the clumps of hair were just falling out everywhere. I was scared to shower because I knew that so much hair would come out and I couldn't emotionally stand to see that. I had to make the decision to make the shave. So that was the day WE as a family shaved my hair off.